Survival, Thriving, and the Desire to Live!
Part 1
Words haven’t flowed as freely recently; it isn’t because of a lack of thoughts, but a lack of inspiration. I am currently a member of the 2025-2026 PAX Writing Fellowship, and our instructor, Dominique Gillard, recently spoke about the need for inspiration in a writer's life. He asked us: What and who inspire you?
I recently found inspiration in three places that inspired me to complete this post!
The first was on Thanksgiving; my uncle saved a few pictures for me to look at, which quickly became the center of attention as the family gathered around the table and began walking down memory lane. Several pictures stood out, but the one of my grandparents stood out the most.
I have written extensively about my grandparents here, but not exhaustively. How could you ever exhaust the deep well of a Black family that lived through the Great Depression, Jim Crow, the Civil Rights Movement, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Cold War, and the many economic booms and declines that encompassed their eight decades? There is so much of their story that has yet to be unearthed; their survival inspires me. I’ll say more on that later.
I also found inspiration in the voice of a man who passed away late last year, but who lived a full life. I was reading Jimmy Carter’s book Faith: A Journey For All, and it wasn’t how he spoke about faith that inspired me most, but his perspective. Jimmy Carter is the only American President to have reached the age of 100. Born in 1924 and serving as President of the United States from 1977 to 1981, Carter lived an abundant life. In his book, he not only reflects on his journey of faith but also on much of his life.
Carter’s perspective on time can only be gained through a life well lived and well reflected upon. It is evident from his writing that he has taken the time to reflect on his life. He speaks of a decade as a necessary experience; he sees his life through the beauty of its totality. It inspired me to stop weighing out my life because the full weight of my experiences hasn’t been added up yet. While there is much to be learned from reflecting on my life so far, by God’s grace, there is still so much more life to be lived. My faith is in the hope of life yet to be lived. That is held together not by my own hands, but by the hands of a loving creator who holds all things together and works all things together by the council of His own will.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
(Psalms 27:13-14, NKJV)
The final inspiration comes from a new friend's writing. A fellow alongside me in PAX. In her most recent piece, she offers a courageous and honest look at hope this Advent season (Your Whispered Hope Is Enough, by https://substack.com/@abenabansahwright). While my grandparents and Jimmy Carter inspired my thoughts about writing, it was AB’s writing that spurred me actually to write.
Survival, Thriving, and the Desire to Live
Dr. Reedha Walker, in her book The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health says, “We were once very clear about who we were and what our collective goal was—survival, we understood that individual survival necessitated survival of the community. Even when we became people who were in bondage, we knew this. Common faith kept us going. Families that were separated merged with new families.” She shares this while reflecting on the need to survive together, and how Black Americans lived for the better part of 350 years. She muses that we have grown far too disconnected from one another, and that has cost us dearly, especially regarding our mental and emotional health and well-being.
In times past, I have compared and contrasted surviving and thriving as though they were juxtaposed. They are not. They are actually wrapped together. One cannot thrive if one doesn’t first learn to survive and navigate reality honestly. We are born into the world as it is, filled with joy, pain, freedom, and subjugation. Some are born oppressed, with their outlook and perspectives limited, while others are born into a world of privilege and opportunity. From birth, we are indoctrinated into the rules of engagement, and if you desire not only to survive but also to thrive, you must first learn the way of things, while thriving may require us to re-learn a new way.
How do we define thriving in our present day? Is it reaching a certain economic or social status? Is it achieving a certain measure of career or personal success? Now, more than ever, this term seems almost impossible to define and nail down. Merriam-Webster defines thriving in a threefold way:
To Grow Vigorously: Flourish
To Gain Wealth or Possessions: Prosper
To progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances: Resilience
We often look at those who overcome difficult circumstances and achieve a measure of upward mobility as thrivers. Or at those who are financially secure as thrivers. To my grandparents, thriving meant owning their own house and business, sending their kids to good schools, and instilling a deep sense of family and community. That their kids would have more opportunities than they had and would never forget where they came from. It was to set them up to live, build, and make a life not bound by the limitations that society or others would place on them.
I am coming back to this view of thriving, learning that life is about more than achievement, but enjoyment! Not entertainment, but learning to enjoy the gifts that God has blessed us with, mainly the people He places in our lives. The ability to do life together. To pursue peace. The ability to dream a dream that can actually come true. To imagine and hope. To find tranquility and security. That one’s zip code doesn’t lock them into limited opportunities or predetermined outcomes.
Dr. Easu McCalley wrote a book I had the privilege of reviewing, entitled How Far to the Promised Land: One Black Family’s Story of Hope and Survival in the American South. In it, he explores the legacy of his family, but also the reality that for much of American history, most African Americans have pursued a promised land that often looked like a place to call home. Since the Civil Rights movement, what it looks like for Black people to live has been answered in so many ways, with influencer after influencer telling us what it truly looks like to live.
This longing isn’t exclusive to the African American community, but is universal. People are longing for meaning and hope and seeking their own personal or communal definition of hope, purpose, and love.
So, what does it mean to thrive in the 21st Century?
I’ll pick this question back up in my next post, but for now, take some time to ponder what thriving and surviving mean and look like for you!