In my last post, I spoke about surrendering to God. Now, I want us to think a little deeper about what it means to follow God. Who are you following? Who are you modeling your life after?
A Leason From My Study:
I read a lot about history, leadership, and the adventures and misadventures of life. My studies have taken me on a journey to learn from those who have done much to move society forward. One of the people I've studied a lot about is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. His life and passion have inspired me, and I admire him greatly. A mentor once told me I can learn two things from someone's leadership: what to do and what not to do. Dr. King's life has shown me a lot about what to do, but I want to hit on something his leadership has taught me not to do. At 28, Dr. King was, as we say today, "having a moment." He was unsure what to do after the Montgomery Bus Boycott and had pressure coming at him from every direction. He once said,
"What I have been doing, is giving, giving, giving and not stopping to retreat and meditate like I should... If the situation is not changed, I will be a physical and psychological wreck. I have to reorganize my personality and reorient my life." King goes on to acknowledge how his daughter, Yoki, four years old at the time, felt when he recalls something she said to him, "Daddy, when are you gonna play with us? You haven't played with us in a long, l-o-n-g time. All you do is work." (King: A Life, pg. 218). King worked so hard because he admitted that he was afraid that he had "peaked" at 27 years old.
In a letter to a friend, he expressed this fear when he wrote: "Frankly, I'm worried to death. A man who hits his peak at twenty-seven has a tough job ahead. People will be expecting me to pull rabbits out of my hat for the rest of my life." (King: A Life, pg. 191).
He needed to take a step back, and he did by moving to Atlanta and reducing his pastoral responsibilities. However, during this time, he still couldn't figure out the family thing and leaned into some negative, unhealthy, and self-destructive coping mechanisms. He smoked heavily and drank with friends, but the most damaging was his frequent extra-marital relationships with many women.
I love Dr. King but want to avoid ending up like him. What I mean by that is Dr. King was a man who gave so much to society but lost himself. I enter into this conversation respectfully but honestly. I'm a man who wants to learn from the beauty and brokenness of the past and apply those lessons to the present. We aren't always honest about our heroes. If I want to be a man who makes a difference, I must live differently. I am forced to learn. Jesus teaches us a valuable lesson that we must learn with great humility.
Follow Me
"Then He [Jesus] said to them all, "If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of me will save it. 25 For what does it benefit someone if he gains the whole world, and yet loses or forfeits his soul?" (Luke 9:23-25, CSB).
You don't want to gain the whole world and lose your soul or your family. You don't want to live selfishly and isolate yourself from those you love and those who love you. We know this cognitively but often forget that Jesus called us to follow Him.
Y'all, that's our first call. To follow. We are often so consumed with what God calls us to do that we forget He has called us to Himself first. In order to follow Jesus, you have to deny yourself. I used to get this confused. I thought this meant denying my feelings or denying who I am, but that's not what Jesus says. He is teaching us, as His followers, to deny our way of living. To turn away from the values of the world (the system that leaves God out), and turn fully towards Jesus, and embrace His values. That's why it's a cross to bear. Because it's so countercultural.
Here are two countercultural ways that Jesus is calling us to follow Him:
Follow Him into Life
Jesus calls us to life. The scriptures tell us that all of life is formed in Him and originates in Him (John 1). When you put your faith in Jesus, He wants you to have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). To have this abundant life, we must be willing to follow the Good Shepherd. The scripture says, “We all like sheep have gone astray…” But Jesus came after you. Remember that He found you lost and going your own way and redirected you to Himself. Following Jesus into life means getting to know Him and learning to hear His voice. He says, “14 I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. 15 As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. 16 And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd” (John 10:14-6).
We must take the time to sit with Jesus and get to know Him in our study and in our living. We learn to sit at His feet and hear His word as He teaches us about Himself, but we also find that getting to know Jesus means doing life with Him. We see He isn’t just in our “quiet place” but also out in the world, loving and leading.
Follow Him into Suffering
“Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, 3 because you know that that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete lacking nothing. Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God — who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly — and it will be given to him” (James 1:2-5).
I mentioned Dr. King earlier, and I won't presume that I understand the stress and pressure that he lived under. But I do know that Jesus was sufficient to see Him through those dark nights of the soul. I also know He is sufficient to see you through your most horrific challenges. Not everything can be solved or fixed, but Jesus has promised to "never leave or forsake us." He walks with us through the hardest moments and promises to give us wisdom on navigating life's challenges.
So what should you do? Ask him for His wisdom, and when you do, don't doubt. Being double-minded is your enemy. Now, we all have moments of doubt, but what doubt means in James chapter 1 is not about being uncertain but about abandoning our belief in God and His good nature. This type of doubt is insidious. It creeps in and causes you to vacillate between God's wisdom and the world's wisdom (the wisdom that doesn't take God's word or existence into account).
You need to allow Jesus to deal with your doubt and unbelief. As a leader, people look up to and respect you, but where do you go when the world's weight crashes down on you? What do you do when following Jesus has started to split your soul and done violence to your perception of what you thought this life would be like?
You go to Jesus, and you will find Him in prayer, in worship, in community, in the challenging or healing words of a good counselor or mentor, and in the faces and actions of your spouse or children. You begin to learn, again, that He is with you and for you. You learn again that you are not on your own. You don’t get caught up in being indispensable but being present with Jesus, yourself, and others. You re-learn that God is good and faithful and that what He is to you and has given you is enough.
Reflection:
Take at least five minutes today and journal. Answer the following questions:
Do I genuinely believe that Jesus is leading me into life, or has the stress and pressure of leadership stolen my joy and hope?
How do I respond to grief and suffering?
How can I refocus my heart and mind on Jesus to see He is good and faithful to me?
To read the first post in this series, use the link below:
Part 1 - https://dannybjr.substack.com/p/indispensable-part-1