Indispensable - Part 1

Learning to Surrender.

The Indispensable Man

by Saxon White Kessinger

Sometime when you’re feeling important;
Sometime when your ego ‘s in bloom;
Sometime when you take it for granted,
You’re the best qualified in the room:
Sometime when you feel that your going,
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions,
And see how they humble your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining,
Is a measure of how much you’ll be missed.
You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop, and you’ll find that in no time,
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example,
Is to do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There’s no indispensable man.

I first encountered this poem in a John Maxwell book about ten years ago. It so moved me that I typed it up, printed it off, and stuck it right next to my desk. For years, when tempted to feel indispensable, I would look over and read this poem and be reminded that my life is important, but I am not indispensable. There is no indispensable man. Lately, I have thought a lot about indispensability and purpose. There is a passage of scripture that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this year that ties these two strange things together, it comes from Romans 12:3:

"For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one" (CSB).

God, by his grace, has given you faith and gifts. You are gifted with and for something, but you are not gifted to do everything, at least not simultaneously. At this stage of life, you feel scattered. Why is that? Maybe because you are trying to do too much. It would be best if you got focused. An unfocused mind leads to an unfocused life, and an unfocused life leads to frustration, agitation, and spiritual constipation. Let's dive in and take a deeper look.

FRUSTRATION:

You're upset. You're annoyed. You've lost your drive and forgotten your gifts and what makes you unique. I've lived in this place too many times in my life. I'm angry at myself because I can't "figure it out." When you're frustrated, it's almost impossible to think straight. You don't want to make decisions because you don't know if you will make the right decision, and you don't want to take a wrong step. When you're frustrated, you're indecisive. When you stay in this place, not only are you frustrated, but you are frustrated with the people around you: your spouse, your kids, your friends, and your team. They love you, but honestly, you are getting on their nerves with your complaining. Most of them love you too much to tell you this unless your spouse is anything like mine, and depending on how healthy you are in the moment, you will either accept their words as God's grace and kindness to you or fall into the second trap. 

AGITATION:

People are getting on your nerves. What happened? You used to be so gracious and kind. You would show up with confidence, strength, and clarity. And Now? Now, you want to be left alone, probably binging Jack Ryan or some so-so Marvel show. I ain't judging. I've been there. 

Just keeping it real. 

The folks you used to lead and love with such grace now get on your nerves, and you are easily irritated. So, when your spouse or a friend checks your negative attitude and behavior, instead of graciously receiving their words of correction, you lose it. You either blow up at them or silently cut them off in your head and heart. You become bitter and unforgiving. You curse in your heart or under your breath while in the car, and you supposedly don't even curse. You feel lost, alone, and isolated, leading to the last place. 

Spiritual Constipation:

Okay. You get the idea. Grandma used to say, "You stopped up and need some Castor Oil." But this isn't bodily constipation, though it may be, because when you are frustrated and agitated, your diet usually suffers, and all of our "living right" & "looking right" goals go out the window. 

I digress. 

Your soul and spirit are like a clogged drain or a bloated gut. Nothing is moving. Your heart isn't moved to prayer or worship, and you are not releasing your fears, doubts, and uncertainties to God. You are holding on to them, and it is poisoning you. Your heart grows cold, your soul grows sick, and your spiritual muscles atrophy. You have lost direction and can no longer lead your family or team anywhere. 

So what do you do?

The answer IS NOT "do more." That LIE is what led you to this mess in the first place. I've gotten caught up in the game of performance too many times in my life. I run and run, just to see that I'm exhausted, but nothing changes. So no, DON'T do more. It's time to SURRENDER. Yeah, I know that's not what you want to hear. We are so strong and independent, but maybe you are so frustrated and tired because you won't admit that you have no clue what you should be doing or how to navigate this new season of life. 

I had a conversation with my wife a few months ago about feeling entirely in over my head for this new season of life. I shared that I've officially surpassed any vision I had for myself growing up. I'm 34, have a good job, and lead an amazing team. My wife and I celebrated ten years of marriage, and my daughter is one year away from high school. I've had some big wins in leadership and have experienced more pain in leadership than I ever expected, and I have grown a bit disillusioned. 

I've worked my tail off to get to this place. So what's wrong? Honestly, I'm afraid that I've peaked. I'm in uncharted territory. So what did I do? I was honest with God and myself about my fears. I re-engaged the scriptures. I repented. I slowed down to take stock of where I was and what God was trying to teach me through my frustration, agitation, and pain. I forgot how loving my Heavenly Father is and that He cares about me. 

You need the same thing. Like you've pointed so many to Jesus over the years, He has lovingly redirected you to remember that you are loved immensely and incredibly selfish. We have to be honest. Jesus gives us the truth. Your unchecked ambition will ruin you.

You want to do it all, and He wants all of you. You want it all figured out, and He wants you to trust Him. You want clarity, and He wants your commitment to follow Him, even during the confusion and uncertainty of life. 

We are learning to surrender. God has so much more life in store for you. He has more healing for you to receive and wants to refresh you. He has lovingly given you a purpose to fulfill, but you can't do everything. He wants you to rest in His mercy and stand in His grace. 

This is a good place to stop and reflect for a while. I will pick up part two of Indispensable next week.