Do you know what love is? Love feels like acknowledgment. It’s being recognized for existing. For growing. For trying. But most of all, for being! A modern way to express your love and appreciation for someone is to tell them, “I see you!” This encouraging phrase is meant to convey that I see your humanity. I see your beauty. I see your growth. I see your light. I see you killing that job. I see you shining at life. I see you living your best self.
I see you!
One of the most encouraging things anyone can tell you is, “I see you.” In a world that seeks to erase individuality, “I see you” is subversive. It means to be free from traditional norms, antiquated professional standards, or the hold of gatekeepers. It’s a subversive way of saying you don’t have to go their way. I see you going your own way, doing your own thing, putting in the work. I see you living your best life!
Several friends and family members have given me this gift of encouragement by telling me, “Danny, we see you.” One of the many ways I’ve been told this lately is through my writing. I can’t count how often I’ve been told recently, “Your writing is getting better!” This is usually followed by a kind but awkward, “I’ve always enjoyed your writing, but there is something about it now that flows.” One friend told me that my writing and preaching/speaking have become more fluid, easier to follow, and more engaging. He calls me “New York Times Best Selling Author, Danny Brister.” You got to love your friends!!!
My friends see something in me that I don’t always see in myself. They see and love me for not only who I am but also for who I am becoming. My wife and bell hooks (yes, I just put my wife and bell hooks into the same sentence; y’all better ask somebody about
) both speak of how our friends steward our histories. They are the containers of our past and future.Our friends are the containers of our past and future!
You know what I love about a good friend? You don't have to explain all of the context to them. They're acquainted with the backstory of your life, family, job, relationships, dreams, and hopes. Have you ever sat with a friend after a long time, and your conversation picks up right where it left off? After catching up, they began filling in your stories' color and context. Saying things like,
"Yeah, like that time you…"
"Remember when we?"
"How has that impacted you since?"
"That's been going on for how long?"
They hold your future, and they steward your past. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity." (NKJV). I've been through some things with my friends, and my friends have been through some stuff with me. Long-term friendships are like long-term romantic relationships; you experience various seasons of closeness and distance. Life can pull you together or push you apart. Those seasons of life can produce offense, understanding, or apathy. Defining the relationship for what it was, is, or will become.
Likewise, our friends go with us on our journey of life. They are with us in significant life happenings, like graduation, getting that job offer that you’ve longed and worked so hard for, or when that job turns out not to be a dream but a nightmare. They are there when we get married. They are there when life crumbles and we get divorced. They are there in childbirth and in the death of a close relative. When we step out to explore a new venture that’s long been in our hearts, cheering us onwards and upwards, they say, “Yes, We Can,” because friends are in it with you! They support you financially by subscribing to your Substack 😉 (shameless plug), purchasing your book, or coming to your first or fiftieth event. They show up when you speak or invest in your organization for no other reason than they believe in you. I’ve seen it time and time again. When life be lifing, “a friend loves at all times. “
“Friends love through all kinds of weather,
and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.”
Proverbs 17:17, Message Translation
My hope for this series is to deal with the beauty and complexity of friendship. But this first post is to say thank you to my friends! Thank you for your constant encouragement! Thank you for believing in me! Thank you for praying with me! For rejoicing with me and weeping with me! Thank you for loving me! Thank you for being a friend! I see you!
Enjoy the new playlist to accompany this series! It’s a fun mix that’s all about friendship!
"You know what I love about a good friend? You don't have to explain all of the context to them." This is gold, especially as you get older and especially with the hard things in life that are/ will be ongoing.
There is something to be said for those dear ones who hold your past, who have walked with you through the fire, and who witness your ongoing evolution.
WOW this article is a great testimony to friendship. Granddaddy would call this article “beautiful”. To me having devoted friends goes beyond the word blessed. There’s not many people in the world that can truly say they have true, honest friends that stand with them through every circumstance in life. Amen and Amen again.